I read this post today, and it brought some conviction, and also a bit of relief. Relief because it articulated what I’ve been feeling lately, a hunger for the uncomfortable. A longing to live in ways more meaningful than just seeking physical and emotional and spiritual comfort and “stuff” but rather, to live as if my days on earth really matter, really are numbered, and really aren’t Home. And relief because it reassured me that that kind of discomfort is actually a good thing, encouraged me not to suppress the hard questions, the hard feelings, the wondering about things like how I can spend $5 on a latte, not to mention the more expensive extravagances, when there are people who don’t have enough, and when $5 could actually go a long way in feeding them.
This morning, my 1 year old son and I read the story of the fish and the loaves in his little Lift-the-flap Bible (or “Bagel,” as he pronounces it). I told him about how the people were hungry, but they didn’t have food, and how the little boy gave his lunch to Jesus to share with the people, even though it wasn’t nearly “enough.” But because of that boy’s willingness to sacrifice (or “share with God” as I put it to my son, because isn’t it all His anyway?), because of his faith, and because of the fact that things like math work quite differently in the Kingdom of God, it was enough and more besides. God’s economy is so much different from our own. Give something away in our economy, in our mentality, and you have to subtract it. Give in God’s Kingdom, and it always multiplies. I’ve known this to be true, even though I can be forgetful of these lessons I’ve learned. How I hope that my son, and I, learn these Kingdom economics, and live them.